Memento Worry

A specter is haunting Northeast Portland—and I think it came from Home Depot. It's a 12 foot demon hiding behind a hedge. See below. I appreciate this house's commitment to the spooky season. Last year they invested in a small robotic child that slowly begins shaking when it senses movement, before standing up all of its three feet of terror while shrieking, convulsing, and laughing. Joggers hated it. Lottie feared it. I half-heard it over my podcast. I'd pull out an ear bud because it sounded like someone was trying to talk to me. (Maniacal, demonic laughter sounds like someone trying to get my attention.) I minded him to the extent I mind most social interactions while walking the dog, but I respected the house for placing it right on the sidewalk. The new demon cuts to the chase visually. He peeks out over the hedges and right past the podcasts. The old three foot one is recessed back towards the front door now to terrorize the postal workers, while his taller, silent friend glows ominously. I think he’s a pleasant addition.

I like Halloween for the elemental changes. The wind rustling leaves. The deep red-hued lighting. Decorative gourds. Costumes though—that's stressful. Most of my costume ideas come to me in January. If I manage to remember the idea by autumn, there's about a week's time when I feel both motivated to make a costume and not too pressed for time to work on one. More often that specific sweet spot of a week comes about a week after I remember that there's a sweet spot week. Better luck next year, I guess!

We found D on our doorstep huddled on a wet outdoor seat cushion. He told me he had thrown up. Looked like he had lost some of his clothes from his bag. He didn't want an ambulance. We found his mother living a few blocks away. She said to call the ambulance. I see clothes on the sidewalk around town. A shoe, some gym shorts. Were they his? A trail leading back to that soggy cushion on my doorstep?

I saw Ruth Garbus perform "Mono No Aware" on Office Hours Live the other month. There's a good chance it's humming in my bones at most hours since then.

I don't know what life is,

Don't know what art is for,

But I can understand singing the blues.

If I can find these songs on YouTube I’ll try to make a convenient playlist for you. This one pairs well with an orange lightbulb and the alure of the abyss.

Can't claim to know the right answer to a lot of things in this world. Despite the cruelty we witness there's beauty too. And a free Palestine would be a beautiful thing.